Who Is The Inner Critic?
The inner critic is that voice inside your head that tells you that you aren't good enough, smart enough, talented enough, pretty enough, or strong enough. It nags and natters at you to the point that your self confidence and sense of bravery is destroyed. You are convinced that the voice is correct and that you really don't have what it takes to live out your wildest dreams. As time goes on, you quit setting meaningful goals. You become resigned to a life of mediocrity and dullness.
The inner critic typically begins during childhood. Unfortunately most of us have had parents, siblings, teachers, friends, and enemies tell us that we aren't good enough. They laughed in your face when you told them your childhood dreams. It's not always said directly to our face. Sometimes it's a subtle undercurrent. Maybe you lived in the shadow of a perfect older brother and your folks forgot to cheer on your successes too. Maybe your folks did everything for you as if you weren't capable of doing anything for yourself. Maybe you lived under the rule of a perfectionist, so everything you did was critiqued with a cold critical eye and never quite cut the mustard.
However it starts, the inner critic gathers proof that it is doing the right thing by protecting you from making foolish leaps of faith. It will find proof of your lack and inability to shine. Every time you give up and quit, the inner critic files that away in it's memory as proof yet again of your smallness. Years and years of layers of proof and validation coupled with the lack of a strong support system of cheerleaders strengthens the inner critic until it overpowers your own sense of drive and purpose. Your fears now rule your life,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots.
Critics are not necessarily bad. They analyze and report back the results of their critique. The inner critic believes that he is protecting you. It's his job to keep you from doing harmful or foolish things. In the caveman days, he would have told you that you couldn't outrun the lion so you'd best leave it alone. He would have told you not to try jumping off of that cliff because you don't have wings like a bird so you're not going to be able to fly. The inner critic is supposed to analyze your talents, traits, and abilities and then determine whether or not you've got what it takes to accomplish whatever whim you're entertaining. At an enlightened balanced level he keeps you safe and out of trouble. In overdrive, he immobilizes you and keeps you from doing much of anything interesting and adventurous.
Look at the most common phobia in America - public speaking. Now seriously, this is feared more than dying! How can that be? What is it we're afraid of? People will laugh at us? People will think we're stupid? People will be so bored that they'll fall asleep and snore through the speech? We'll forget what we were going to say and just stand there with a blank look on our face? To stand up and speak one's mind is the ultimate test of self confidence. Do you really truly believe in yourself, your knowledge of the subject matter, your ability to form words and sentences that make sense to the audience?
I can relate completely to this fear, but what I have to do is look realistically at myself from a third party objective viewpoint. I hear my own inner critic worrying that I'm going to make a fool of myself on stage because I'll forget what I'm going to say. The truth is, I have a gift of gab. I'm a talkaholic. I have no historical evidence of forgetting what I was going to say. Quite the contrary, I typically add so much more than I had originally planned on saying. If I'm honest in my evaluation of myself then I'd realize that I have so much information, opinions, and stories that even if I do forget what I was going to say, I could 'wing it.' Everything I do comes back to trying to teach people how to be happy. I'll find my way back to that goal even if I ever did forget. So, in a logical analysis, I would have to say that it's an invalid fear. There's no reason at all to listen to my own inner critic when it's nagging at me not to get up on stage to speak. For me, there is no real danger involved. It would be a shame if I let an invalid fear stop me from doing what I love most, reaching out and helping people to make positive changes in themselves.
You may decide that your inner critic is telling the truth, you really aren't capable of doing what you've set out to do. You want to own a restaurant but you're afraid of failing. Upon evaluation you come to realize that you don't know anything about running a business or even cooking for that matter," You are asking this question of your highest self. Okay great, so get lessons. Educate yourself, make solving the fears your first steps. Just because you don't have all of the tools today doesn't mean that you're never ever going to be able to succeed,1. Refuse to passenger with such a person until he or she changes..
Your inner critic makes an evaluation about you based on mental programs and beliefs that has been fed into it over the course of your life. If you have a history of support and success, then your inner critic is probably balanced and logical. If you have a history of being ridiculed and of failure,including a to do list, then your inner critic is probably doing its best to save you from any further pain. You are so much more than your inner critic's opinion of you. You are forever capable of growing, learning, training, expanding, and contributing your unique beautiful self. Don't let your inner critic keep you from giving your gift to the world.
Adapted from Beyond the Inner Critic, copyright 1999, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
you won't be reading the whole of El Pais
The 12 Day Challenge by Les Holland
12 days ago, what were you doing? Me? I was doing pretty much what I'm doing now. I'm even in the same argument I was having with someone 12 days ago. I'm still trying to complete the exact same work projects. Still haven't tidied my desk. That bit of DIY still needs doing. You know what I mean.
12 days is almost no time. Yet it is. It's certainly big enough to make a real difference. So. Why not make that real difference? Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to work for nothing or for charity. This is an investment in yourself. Only you stand to gain or lose from this.
I'm talking about learning Spanish. I know that's perhaps a little off the wall, but stick with me.
Spanish is one of the top four languages on the planet, spoken by 400 million people. That's 1 person in every 16, worldwide .. you're bound to meet some of those. Spanish speaking countries are culturally rich, interesting places.
Learning a language sets you free,but the rest of it just isn't worth it., you no longer feel boxed in by your own language. You can wander while on holiday, speak with more people, find new business or personal opportunities,and we all need some of that. But more than that. If you can prove to yourself you can do this in just 12 days .. what else can you do? It's a powerful feeling.
So here's the challenge. Either do this yourself or get together with some mates and find some time,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots, perhaps an hour, each day for the next 12 days, and commit. Say it: I will learn Spanish in 12 days. Mark the twelfth day in your diary. In fact, mark every day up to then with the lesson number.
The course I'm going to recommend, 'Spanish Language Speed Learning Course', is easy enough so long as you can read. There are all sorts of places you can find an hour each day, just for the next 12. Your commute, your lunchbreak, before you go to sleep, or while your partner's watching a tv program you don't want to watch. It's downloadable right now, so you can print out each lesson separately and keep it with you to use up those odd five minutes here and there through the day. Challenge your friends: download the course, print out the first lesson and just turn up with "I'm going to learn Spanish in the next 12 days, who's coming with me?"
How well will you know Spanish after just 12 days? OK, I admit, you won't be reading the whole of El Pais (a popular newspaper). But you will be able to speak Spanish, and the beautiful thing about this course is the rock solid foundation it gives you,Know the room.
You know that feeling when you don't know what you don't know? You know you're a novice and you're tentative about what you've done in case you've missed something obvious. Well that won't happen with this course. After 12 days you feel like you do know all the core things you need and can take Spanish in your stride. Anything you learn after will hang neatly onto that foundation. So not only is the course itself quick, it makes future learning much more efficient too.
Now, I'd love to hear how you get on. So get together with some friends (or just work on it yourself and surprise them in just under two weeks), and let me know how it went. You never know, I might write about you next time.
12 days ago, what were you doing? Me? I was doing pretty much what I'm doing now. I'm even in the same argument I was having with someone 12 days ago. I'm still trying to complete the exact same work projects. Still haven't tidied my desk. That bit of DIY still needs doing. You know what I mean.
12 days is almost no time. Yet it is. It's certainly big enough to make a real difference. So. Why not make that real difference? Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to work for nothing or for charity. This is an investment in yourself. Only you stand to gain or lose from this.
I'm talking about learning Spanish. I know that's perhaps a little off the wall, but stick with me.
Spanish is one of the top four languages on the planet, spoken by 400 million people. That's 1 person in every 16, worldwide .. you're bound to meet some of those. Spanish speaking countries are culturally rich, interesting places.
Learning a language sets you free,but the rest of it just isn't worth it., you no longer feel boxed in by your own language. You can wander while on holiday, speak with more people, find new business or personal opportunities,and we all need some of that. But more than that. If you can prove to yourself you can do this in just 12 days .. what else can you do? It's a powerful feeling.
So here's the challenge. Either do this yourself or get together with some mates and find some time,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots, perhaps an hour, each day for the next 12 days, and commit. Say it: I will learn Spanish in 12 days. Mark the twelfth day in your diary. In fact, mark every day up to then with the lesson number.
The course I'm going to recommend, 'Spanish Language Speed Learning Course', is easy enough so long as you can read. There are all sorts of places you can find an hour each day, just for the next 12. Your commute, your lunchbreak, before you go to sleep, or while your partner's watching a tv program you don't want to watch. It's downloadable right now, so you can print out each lesson separately and keep it with you to use up those odd five minutes here and there through the day. Challenge your friends: download the course, print out the first lesson and just turn up with "I'm going to learn Spanish in the next 12 days, who's coming with me?"
How well will you know Spanish after just 12 days? OK, I admit, you won't be reading the whole of El Pais (a popular newspaper). But you will be able to speak Spanish, and the beautiful thing about this course is the rock solid foundation it gives you,Know the room.
You know that feeling when you don't know what you don't know? You know you're a novice and you're tentative about what you've done in case you've missed something obvious. Well that won't happen with this course. After 12 days you feel like you do know all the core things you need and can take Spanish in your stride. Anything you learn after will hang neatly onto that foundation. So not only is the course itself quick, it makes future learning much more efficient too.
Now, I'd love to hear how you get on. So get together with some friends (or just work on it yourself and surprise them in just under two weeks), and let me know how it went. You never know, I might write about you next time.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
An Uncommon Journey of Spirit
With All My Heart and Soul by Jim Clemmer
"Our responsibility as individuals is to be true to our own souls and NOT sell out to the System. If we cannot help heal the System we are in, then we must leave the System and find a better opportunity, even if we have to create our own system to do it." — Dorothy E. Fischer, "The System Versus the Soul," an essay in Rediscovering the Soul of Business: A Renaissance of Values
Spirit and meaning is a missing link in many lives, teams, and organizations,then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore. Many who have material prosperity live in spiritual poverty. That's what's driving the rapidly growing number of meaning seekers in society. We want to know that our lives count for something. We want to make a difference. Our work and our lives become ever more meaningful the more they are in harmony with who we are and touch the very core of why we exist. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Psychologist, Abraham Maslow, developed a hierarchy describing our progression from the most basic to the highest needs of self-actualization — the fulfillment of our full potential. He believed that "the unhappiness, unease, and unrest in the world today are caused by people living far below their capacity."
In his book, The Greatest Miracle in the World, Og Mandino spins a tale of his encounters with Simon Potter, a humble and learned wise man. In one conversation, Og and Simon discuss the miracle people can perform in their own lives by resurrecting their dead spirits. Simon explains the need for this miracle,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots, "Most humans, in varying degrees, are already dead. In one way or another they have lost their dreams, their ambitions, their desire for a better life. They have surrendered their fight for self-esteem and they have compromised their great potential. They have settled for a life of mediocrity, days of despair, and nights of tears. They are no more than living deaths confined to cemeteries of their choice." We need to be less afraid of death and more frightened by an empty life.
When we feel the most love, passion,apartment, or energy is when we are the most alive. That's when our soul sings. In Leading with Soul: An Uncommon Journey of Spirit, organization consultants and professors, Lee Bolman and Terrence Deal (co-author of the classic Corporate Cultures — the 1982 book that popularized the idea of organization culture) conclude, "The signs point toward spirit and soul as the essence of leadership."
The culture of a family, team, or organization is "the way we do things around here." A toxic culture is loveless, passionless, and meaningless. It has a weak heart and a sick soul. A healthy culture is engaged in meaningful doing through purposeful being. It has a high-energy spirit. Leaders make work, families, communities, or life in general, purposeful. I can only do that if I am filled with purpose. Spirit and meaning starts inside the leader. They can only be developed from the inside out.
In their big busyness, organizations can easily lose their heart and soul. Without realizing it, or ever intending to, they can lose their deeper sense of meaning. Goals, plans, reports,10. Simplify Your Life, and numbers take over. In the harsh glare of hard-headed analysis, soft "touchy, feely" emotions like spirit and meaning evaporates as dew in the morning sun. It's like an academic study of a deeply moving story. The dissection may help us understand the technical pieces, but misses the feelings that touched us so deeply.
Regardless of our positions in an organization, we need to do whatever we can to help change that. We need to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. But we need to ensure we're not feeling like victims of a heartless team or organization with a hollowed out soul. It's too easy to find ourselves being numbed by jobs that aren't a passionate joy but really feel like work. Profit, wealth, or careers can become goals in themselves rather than the means to fulfilling our deeper, more meaningful destinies.
If we're not in touch with our own heart and soul we may not realize how our life energy is being slowly drained by work that doesn't feed our spirit and give us richer meaning. If we're not careful, we can become hollow victims with our lifeblood sucked out of us. But I can't blame "them." I may not choose to be victimized by a toxic team, family, or organization, but I chose whether to be a victim. The choice is mine.
"Our responsibility as individuals is to be true to our own souls and NOT sell out to the System. If we cannot help heal the System we are in, then we must leave the System and find a better opportunity, even if we have to create our own system to do it." — Dorothy E. Fischer, "The System Versus the Soul," an essay in Rediscovering the Soul of Business: A Renaissance of Values
Spirit and meaning is a missing link in many lives, teams, and organizations,then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore. Many who have material prosperity live in spiritual poverty. That's what's driving the rapidly growing number of meaning seekers in society. We want to know that our lives count for something. We want to make a difference. Our work and our lives become ever more meaningful the more they are in harmony with who we are and touch the very core of why we exist. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Psychologist, Abraham Maslow, developed a hierarchy describing our progression from the most basic to the highest needs of self-actualization — the fulfillment of our full potential. He believed that "the unhappiness, unease, and unrest in the world today are caused by people living far below their capacity."
In his book, The Greatest Miracle in the World, Og Mandino spins a tale of his encounters with Simon Potter, a humble and learned wise man. In one conversation, Og and Simon discuss the miracle people can perform in their own lives by resurrecting their dead spirits. Simon explains the need for this miracle,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots, "Most humans, in varying degrees, are already dead. In one way or another they have lost their dreams, their ambitions, their desire for a better life. They have surrendered their fight for self-esteem and they have compromised their great potential. They have settled for a life of mediocrity, days of despair, and nights of tears. They are no more than living deaths confined to cemeteries of their choice." We need to be less afraid of death and more frightened by an empty life.
When we feel the most love, passion,apartment, or energy is when we are the most alive. That's when our soul sings. In Leading with Soul: An Uncommon Journey of Spirit, organization consultants and professors, Lee Bolman and Terrence Deal (co-author of the classic Corporate Cultures — the 1982 book that popularized the idea of organization culture) conclude, "The signs point toward spirit and soul as the essence of leadership."
The culture of a family, team, or organization is "the way we do things around here." A toxic culture is loveless, passionless, and meaningless. It has a weak heart and a sick soul. A healthy culture is engaged in meaningful doing through purposeful being. It has a high-energy spirit. Leaders make work, families, communities, or life in general, purposeful. I can only do that if I am filled with purpose. Spirit and meaning starts inside the leader. They can only be developed from the inside out.
In their big busyness, organizations can easily lose their heart and soul. Without realizing it, or ever intending to, they can lose their deeper sense of meaning. Goals, plans, reports,10. Simplify Your Life, and numbers take over. In the harsh glare of hard-headed analysis, soft "touchy, feely" emotions like spirit and meaning evaporates as dew in the morning sun. It's like an academic study of a deeply moving story. The dissection may help us understand the technical pieces, but misses the feelings that touched us so deeply.
Regardless of our positions in an organization, we need to do whatever we can to help change that. We need to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. But we need to ensure we're not feeling like victims of a heartless team or organization with a hollowed out soul. It's too easy to find ourselves being numbed by jobs that aren't a passionate joy but really feel like work. Profit, wealth, or careers can become goals in themselves rather than the means to fulfilling our deeper, more meaningful destinies.
If we're not in touch with our own heart and soul we may not realize how our life energy is being slowly drained by work that doesn't feed our spirit and give us richer meaning. If we're not careful, we can become hollow victims with our lifeblood sucked out of us. But I can't blame "them." I may not choose to be victimized by a toxic team, family, or organization, but I chose whether to be a victim. The choice is mine.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
so called
The Power Of Your Mind by J. Ramiro Sejas M.
I'm sure you have heard about the power of the mind. And also I'm sure you didn't pay attention to that concept or maybe you didn't give it credibility. However, you must know it's the only way you can make miracles happen in your life. By using your mind properly you can change your life dramatically. You can object telling me you do use your mind in your own benefit, but I can show you didn't do that. Just take a look at your daily routine; breakfast, work, fast lunch, work, date to dinner or beers with friends, maybe a session in a gym, back home to sleep, and that's it. So, along this average routine you tell me at what time of your day you are using your mind to create, to build the lifestyle you would like to have?
LIVING A PLANLESS LIFE
As most of the people we used to watch our lives passing by inside pre-established routines inherited from our society. Most of us didn't give ourselves the time to plan a life according to our expectations,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots. We just let life to take us to a bank like the water in a river. We are just part of the life flow giving up to a, so called, destiny we may not agree. So, why do not give us a chance and try to use this concept in to our own benefit. Why not taking few minutes a day, or more if you can, to start building the lifestyle you deserve.
THOUGHTS AGAINST FRUSTRATIONS
Everybody has some kind of frustration, even you, so you can start unloading it from your back. Now, the question is how to do it.
It's simple and believe it or not you have used this power in the past,your garden. It happens usually when we are in front of limit situations. Remember some "big" problem you had and as consequence of thinking a lot in the way to solve it ... , almost magically like a spark of illumination, the solution just appeared in your mind! In the same way you can overcome your frustration(s) using adequately your thoughts.
WHAT TO DO
As much people build their bodies at the gym, in the same way you have to dedicate some minutes every day to overcome your frustration(s) or to change that things you don't like in your life. The way to do it is an adequate combination of thoughts, mind training, and will.
Thoughts are powerful. If combined with the other two elements they can make miracles happen. Jesus said "if you have the faith as the size of a mustard grain, you will be able to command this mountain throw itself to sea and the mountain would obey to you", and where is faith?... right! in your mind! Faith is just some kind of thought. Einstein discovered the rules of the universe just by using his thoughts. Oh yeah, I can imagine what you are thinking now. You think you are not a celebrity just a regular guy with a normal life and you do not believe you can do such amazing things or discoveries. Believe me, I'm also a regular guy and maybe I won't do things that change the world history, but you and I are able to make significant changes in our lives so we can do them more accordingly to our pleasure. In short, you can make changes in your life. You can influence for good your life with the proper use of your thoughts. You can start overcoming your frustration(s). I know that because I did it.
I know you are hesitating now and that's a good start point. You dispose some time every day to take care of your body, to take care of your health, to take care of your appearance; so why do not care about your life. Why not dedicate some few minutes a day to build in your mind, using your thoughts, the lifestyle you want and deserve. What you have to lose. In particular, make your frustration(s) disappear.
Who influences every decision you make?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your state of mind?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your humor?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your life expectations?... Your thoughts.
Who rules your life?... Your thoughts.
Who controls your thoughts?... YOU!
So,do something about it. If you are grateful for your sobriety? It seems you just have to train your thoughts, right?
HOW TO DO IT
For instance, if you feel frustrated with your current job then force your mind to imagine a scene with you doing exactly what you would like to do. Imagine the scene with detail,neighbors. Then create a sentence in present time like "I have a good job doing which pays me xxxxx $, and makes me feel happy". Repeat this exercise as much as you can every day; and after some time you will start to see changes.
This is the way to induce changes in your life.
Believe me, it works!
You have to try it!
You have nothing to lose!
I'm sure you have heard about the power of the mind. And also I'm sure you didn't pay attention to that concept or maybe you didn't give it credibility. However, you must know it's the only way you can make miracles happen in your life. By using your mind properly you can change your life dramatically. You can object telling me you do use your mind in your own benefit, but I can show you didn't do that. Just take a look at your daily routine; breakfast, work, fast lunch, work, date to dinner or beers with friends, maybe a session in a gym, back home to sleep, and that's it. So, along this average routine you tell me at what time of your day you are using your mind to create, to build the lifestyle you would like to have?
LIVING A PLANLESS LIFE
As most of the people we used to watch our lives passing by inside pre-established routines inherited from our society. Most of us didn't give ourselves the time to plan a life according to our expectations,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots. We just let life to take us to a bank like the water in a river. We are just part of the life flow giving up to a, so called, destiny we may not agree. So, why do not give us a chance and try to use this concept in to our own benefit. Why not taking few minutes a day, or more if you can, to start building the lifestyle you deserve.
THOUGHTS AGAINST FRUSTRATIONS
Everybody has some kind of frustration, even you, so you can start unloading it from your back. Now, the question is how to do it.
It's simple and believe it or not you have used this power in the past,your garden. It happens usually when we are in front of limit situations. Remember some "big" problem you had and as consequence of thinking a lot in the way to solve it ... , almost magically like a spark of illumination, the solution just appeared in your mind! In the same way you can overcome your frustration(s) using adequately your thoughts.
WHAT TO DO
As much people build their bodies at the gym, in the same way you have to dedicate some minutes every day to overcome your frustration(s) or to change that things you don't like in your life. The way to do it is an adequate combination of thoughts, mind training, and will.
Thoughts are powerful. If combined with the other two elements they can make miracles happen. Jesus said "if you have the faith as the size of a mustard grain, you will be able to command this mountain throw itself to sea and the mountain would obey to you", and where is faith?... right! in your mind! Faith is just some kind of thought. Einstein discovered the rules of the universe just by using his thoughts. Oh yeah, I can imagine what you are thinking now. You think you are not a celebrity just a regular guy with a normal life and you do not believe you can do such amazing things or discoveries. Believe me, I'm also a regular guy and maybe I won't do things that change the world history, but you and I are able to make significant changes in our lives so we can do them more accordingly to our pleasure. In short, you can make changes in your life. You can influence for good your life with the proper use of your thoughts. You can start overcoming your frustration(s). I know that because I did it.
I know you are hesitating now and that's a good start point. You dispose some time every day to take care of your body, to take care of your health, to take care of your appearance; so why do not care about your life. Why not dedicate some few minutes a day to build in your mind, using your thoughts, the lifestyle you want and deserve. What you have to lose. In particular, make your frustration(s) disappear.
Who influences every decision you make?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your state of mind?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your humor?... Your thoughts.
Who influences your life expectations?... Your thoughts.
Who rules your life?... Your thoughts.
Who controls your thoughts?... YOU!
So,do something about it. If you are grateful for your sobriety? It seems you just have to train your thoughts, right?
HOW TO DO IT
For instance, if you feel frustrated with your current job then force your mind to imagine a scene with you doing exactly what you would like to do. Imagine the scene with detail,neighbors. Then create a sentence in present time like "I have a good job doing which pays me xxxxx $, and makes me feel happy". Repeat this exercise as much as you can every day; and after some time you will start to see changes.
This is the way to induce changes in your life.
Believe me, it works!
You have to try it!
You have nothing to lose!
Monday, November 5, 2012
As a leader
3 Characteristics Of An Effective Leader That Are Vital For Success by Michael Lee
What are the characteristics of an effective leader? Before we address that question,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots, it is important to note that not all leaders are created equal. Some over promise but under deliver, while others prove just how deserving they are of their position.
Do you have the characteristics of an effective leader? Well, let's see. Are you
A Calculating Observer
An efficient leader knows how to make the most of a situation simply by observing the people around him,Home décor. Through the cues he receives from others and from his environment, he is able to make sound decisions on what to do, where to go and how to respond.
As a leader, your observation skills are of the utmost importance. Likewise, you must also be careful not to give yourself away with careless facial expressions. A poker face keeps people guessing and also keeps you three to four steps ahead of everybody else.
A Good Communicator
One of the vital characteristics of an effective leader is having the ability to express himself clearly and concisely. Ask anybody who's ever had to lead a team or follow orders - this is a must!
After all, how can you get your team to do what must be done when you can't even tell them what it is in the first place?
Think of the generals who had command over entire fleets and armies in history,strong and wholesome.. The most revered leaders were always those who were able to communicate what they wanted to happen to their men,- Undisciplined lifestyle. With good communication, half the battle's won.
A Precise Taskmaster
You know the saying, "if you want something done right, do it yourself?" Well, that's not very practical at all.
If you're a leader of a large group, you can't possibly take on all the responsibilities yourself. As such, you need to learn how to delegate. This is one of the most important characteristics of an effective leader.
Take Steve Jobs for example. He's not the salesman who convinced you to buy an iPod instead of a Zune during the rush sale at the mall. He's not the person who shot the ads or the one who checked whether your particular iPod passed the quality test while it was being manufactured.
But he was able to appoint individuals who were able to take care of specific tasks - this alone makes him an excellent leader.
So, do you have the characteristics of an effective leader? Perhaps it's time you take a good look at yourself.
What are the characteristics of an effective leader? Before we address that question,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots, it is important to note that not all leaders are created equal. Some over promise but under deliver, while others prove just how deserving they are of their position.
Do you have the characteristics of an effective leader? Well, let's see. Are you
A Calculating Observer
An efficient leader knows how to make the most of a situation simply by observing the people around him,Home décor. Through the cues he receives from others and from his environment, he is able to make sound decisions on what to do, where to go and how to respond.
As a leader, your observation skills are of the utmost importance. Likewise, you must also be careful not to give yourself away with careless facial expressions. A poker face keeps people guessing and also keeps you three to four steps ahead of everybody else.
A Good Communicator
One of the vital characteristics of an effective leader is having the ability to express himself clearly and concisely. Ask anybody who's ever had to lead a team or follow orders - this is a must!
After all, how can you get your team to do what must be done when you can't even tell them what it is in the first place?
Think of the generals who had command over entire fleets and armies in history,strong and wholesome.. The most revered leaders were always those who were able to communicate what they wanted to happen to their men,- Undisciplined lifestyle. With good communication, half the battle's won.
A Precise Taskmaster
You know the saying, "if you want something done right, do it yourself?" Well, that's not very practical at all.
If you're a leader of a large group, you can't possibly take on all the responsibilities yourself. As such, you need to learn how to delegate. This is one of the most important characteristics of an effective leader.
Take Steve Jobs for example. He's not the salesman who convinced you to buy an iPod instead of a Zune during the rush sale at the mall. He's not the person who shot the ads or the one who checked whether your particular iPod passed the quality test while it was being manufactured.
But he was able to appoint individuals who were able to take care of specific tasks - this alone makes him an excellent leader.
So, do you have the characteristics of an effective leader? Perhaps it's time you take a good look at yourself.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Breathe In
Before The Anxiety Strikes by Ian Spencer,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots
The preparatory phase will take you through a few steps that normally precede anxiety attacks. Some of these are preventive measures, while others are meant to equip you to cope with the anxiety attack if it develops to a full-blown form. As mentioned earlier, it is very critical to the success of these steps that you understand you would not get rid of anxiety until and unless you apply yourself fully to the reverse the symptoms and expel negativity from your mind and life.
Learn To Recognize The Warning Signals
When you are about to have an anxiety attack there would be little warning signals that would tell you it is coming. Most people tend to ignore these signs because they account it to their stressful lives or initial stages of a disease. You need to hone your mind to recognize the warning signals that precede your anxiety attack and when you do so, reiterate to yourself with full confidence that, It is nothing more than an anxiety attack, which would pass in no time.
Stop Negative Thinking
Anxiety attacks thrive on negative thoughts. You start with a tiny worry, which would gradually escalate out of proportion paving the way to a full-blown anxiety attack. When you consider the fact that this could feel as bad as a heart attack, you would agree that this is definitely something you should try to avert. When you realize that you are feeding yourself negative thoughts, stop. Will yourself to think positively. Put in all your efforts to change the negative thinking into positive thinking.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Yoga and many forms of meditation would teach you how to breathe in and out with intense concentration. You would need to watch your abdomen raise and fall steadily while you focus entirely on your breath as it goes in and out. After some time, you would be aware of nothing else but a sweet nothingness in your head and the awareness of your breathing. You will find that your body relaxes and the anxiety, which was threatening to strike, has long since disappeared.
Is There A Logical Justification Backing Up Your Worries
Look carefully at the things that are causing you to worry. Are your worries logically justified or are you blowing things out of proportion? It would be difficult for you to remove yourself from the present and look at the situation objectively, but with practice you would be able to separate instances where worry is justified and where it is not.
Reorganize Your Thoughts
Look at the worse possible scenario and ask yourself what you can do best to avert it. If there is any action that you could take, do so. If there is nothing you can do, will yourself to stop worrying and even thinking about whatever worries you. Tell yourself that you would cross the bridge when it comes. For all its worth, it often happens that the things you worry about most never happens. Why torture yourself in advance for something that might never happen? Why invite an anxiety attack for something imaginary?
Apply The Writing Therapy
The best would be to talk with someone about your feelings, not as a confessional but as a sounding board. When you are stressed,real security, you might not like to talk, but you need to ventilate your thoughts to release the tension that has built within you. At such times, take out a paper and write down your thoughts what bothers you the most? What you would want otherwise? How much you can help the situation if you apply yourself to it? You would be surprised about the clarity you would get by just voicing your thoughts (speaking with someone) or penning them down. Often, when your worrisome thoughts are crammed in your mind, they seem much more terrible than when they are taken out to light . This is something like a cluttered table,you might want to work on your sense of humor. Laughter; at first it looks like there 10 thousand things on it and nothing makes sense, but once things are arranged and the desk is de-cluttered, tasks do not look scary and impossible to do anymore.
Establish A Safe Place For Yourself
You need to mentally allot a place in your home and/ or workplace where you declare it safe . This should be like a sanctuary where nothing bad or harmful can ever reach or touch you. This could a room, your bed,Step Four, a large armchair, your garden, your coffee lounge, or even bathroom. When you feel the anxiety rising within you, just rush to your safe place and let the feeling of security and safety wash over you. Imagine that you have reached a place where every bad thing would be turned away like you would be under the direct protection of God Himself or Providence or whatever super power you believe in. This would give you time and scope to rest your mind and find relief from stress for a while, enough time to enable you change your negative thoughts into positive ones.
Make A List Of Your Pet Worries
Let your worries escalate a little and when you feel that they are about to take a good grip of you, take out a pen and paper and write them down one by one. Write exactly what you are afraid of in bullet points and allot each one a number. Once you have exhausted your sources of worry, take a long look at each one of the points you wrote and then crumple the paper and burn it. At that time, imagine that you have burnt away all your worries and they have left you forever. Repeat this exercise every time you feel an anxiety attack is about to strike, and gradually you would observe that the number of your worries and their intensity decrease.
Force Your Thoughts On To Realty
This works best when you are free of anxiety or any of its symptoms. Take a pen and paper and make a table with two columns. In one of the columns enumerate carefully all the worries that plagued you until date and in the other write yes against the worries that came true and no against those who never materialized. When you complete the list, the realty would be quite clear to you as you would be able to see it in black and white on your paper. It would be heartening and so reassuring to see and realize that only a very tiny number of worries ever materialize. So, why worry at all?
This Too, Shall Pass
These four words represent a very deep truth of life. Everything in life is transient both good and bad. We all feel that bad things are harder and emotionally more draining because they hurt, while the good things pass much too fast because they make us happy. The truth is that life is indeed like a box of chocolates . You need to keep in mind when you are happy as when you are sad that this too shall pass . They say, You are never as good as they say when you succeed, nor as bad as they say when you fail. The secret to prevent anxiety attacks is often this simple.
The preparatory phase will take you through a few steps that normally precede anxiety attacks. Some of these are preventive measures, while others are meant to equip you to cope with the anxiety attack if it develops to a full-blown form. As mentioned earlier, it is very critical to the success of these steps that you understand you would not get rid of anxiety until and unless you apply yourself fully to the reverse the symptoms and expel negativity from your mind and life.
Learn To Recognize The Warning Signals
When you are about to have an anxiety attack there would be little warning signals that would tell you it is coming. Most people tend to ignore these signs because they account it to their stressful lives or initial stages of a disease. You need to hone your mind to recognize the warning signals that precede your anxiety attack and when you do so, reiterate to yourself with full confidence that, It is nothing more than an anxiety attack, which would pass in no time.
Stop Negative Thinking
Anxiety attacks thrive on negative thoughts. You start with a tiny worry, which would gradually escalate out of proportion paving the way to a full-blown anxiety attack. When you consider the fact that this could feel as bad as a heart attack, you would agree that this is definitely something you should try to avert. When you realize that you are feeding yourself negative thoughts, stop. Will yourself to think positively. Put in all your efforts to change the negative thinking into positive thinking.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Yoga and many forms of meditation would teach you how to breathe in and out with intense concentration. You would need to watch your abdomen raise and fall steadily while you focus entirely on your breath as it goes in and out. After some time, you would be aware of nothing else but a sweet nothingness in your head and the awareness of your breathing. You will find that your body relaxes and the anxiety, which was threatening to strike, has long since disappeared.
Is There A Logical Justification Backing Up Your Worries
Look carefully at the things that are causing you to worry. Are your worries logically justified or are you blowing things out of proportion? It would be difficult for you to remove yourself from the present and look at the situation objectively, but with practice you would be able to separate instances where worry is justified and where it is not.
Reorganize Your Thoughts
Look at the worse possible scenario and ask yourself what you can do best to avert it. If there is any action that you could take, do so. If there is nothing you can do, will yourself to stop worrying and even thinking about whatever worries you. Tell yourself that you would cross the bridge when it comes. For all its worth, it often happens that the things you worry about most never happens. Why torture yourself in advance for something that might never happen? Why invite an anxiety attack for something imaginary?
Apply The Writing Therapy
The best would be to talk with someone about your feelings, not as a confessional but as a sounding board. When you are stressed,real security, you might not like to talk, but you need to ventilate your thoughts to release the tension that has built within you. At such times, take out a paper and write down your thoughts what bothers you the most? What you would want otherwise? How much you can help the situation if you apply yourself to it? You would be surprised about the clarity you would get by just voicing your thoughts (speaking with someone) or penning them down. Often, when your worrisome thoughts are crammed in your mind, they seem much more terrible than when they are taken out to light . This is something like a cluttered table,you might want to work on your sense of humor. Laughter; at first it looks like there 10 thousand things on it and nothing makes sense, but once things are arranged and the desk is de-cluttered, tasks do not look scary and impossible to do anymore.
Establish A Safe Place For Yourself
You need to mentally allot a place in your home and/ or workplace where you declare it safe . This should be like a sanctuary where nothing bad or harmful can ever reach or touch you. This could a room, your bed,Step Four, a large armchair, your garden, your coffee lounge, or even bathroom. When you feel the anxiety rising within you, just rush to your safe place and let the feeling of security and safety wash over you. Imagine that you have reached a place where every bad thing would be turned away like you would be under the direct protection of God Himself or Providence or whatever super power you believe in. This would give you time and scope to rest your mind and find relief from stress for a while, enough time to enable you change your negative thoughts into positive ones.
Make A List Of Your Pet Worries
Let your worries escalate a little and when you feel that they are about to take a good grip of you, take out a pen and paper and write them down one by one. Write exactly what you are afraid of in bullet points and allot each one a number. Once you have exhausted your sources of worry, take a long look at each one of the points you wrote and then crumple the paper and burn it. At that time, imagine that you have burnt away all your worries and they have left you forever. Repeat this exercise every time you feel an anxiety attack is about to strike, and gradually you would observe that the number of your worries and their intensity decrease.
Force Your Thoughts On To Realty
This works best when you are free of anxiety or any of its symptoms. Take a pen and paper and make a table with two columns. In one of the columns enumerate carefully all the worries that plagued you until date and in the other write yes against the worries that came true and no against those who never materialized. When you complete the list, the realty would be quite clear to you as you would be able to see it in black and white on your paper. It would be heartening and so reassuring to see and realize that only a very tiny number of worries ever materialize. So, why worry at all?
This Too, Shall Pass
These four words represent a very deep truth of life. Everything in life is transient both good and bad. We all feel that bad things are harder and emotionally more draining because they hurt, while the good things pass much too fast because they make us happy. The truth is that life is indeed like a box of chocolates . You need to keep in mind when you are happy as when you are sad that this too shall pass . They say, You are never as good as they say when you succeed, nor as bad as they say when you fail. The secret to prevent anxiety attacks is often this simple.
Friday, November 2, 2012
and the more we take loving action for ourselves and with others
The Secret to Emotional Healing by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
What does it mean to emotionally heal? It means that you know what you are thinking or doing that causes fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, anger, jealousy, and so on, and how to learn from and heal these painful feelings. It means that you no longer turn to addictions to avoid loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow or grief because you know how to manage and release these painful feelings. It means that you do not feel like a victim of others' choices and instead operate from a place of personal power, taking loving care of yourself rather than being reactive. It means that you are able to manifest the gifts you have been given and spend your time in what brings you joy. It means that you know how to fill yourself with love and share love with others rather than trying to get love and approval from others.
HOW DOES HEALING OCCUR?
Some therapies, such as CBT - Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy - bring about changes that can be a huge help to people suffering from depression. But what about anger, heartbreak,I ran out of stamps, and relationship problems?
One of the problems with some forms of psychotherapy is that our programmed mind cannot heal our programmed mind. Much of our pain comes from the false beliefs that have been programmed into a part of our left-brain called the amygdala - which is the seat of the ego, the wounded self,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots. All of us absorbed many false beliefs as we were growing up that now limit us and can cause us much pain.
As long as we operate from our ego wounded self, we are stuck operating from these false beliefs, as the wounded self cannot heal the wounded self. So how do we heal the false beliefs of the wounded self?
Healing occurs when we develop a part of ourselves - what we call in Inner Bonding® the loving Adult - that is able to access a source of truth. Our ego wounded self has no ability to access truth. The loving Adult is a part of us that opens to learning with a spiritual source of love and truth, and learns to bring the truth through the mind - rather than the thoughts that come from the mind - which is what starts to heal the false beliefs,you can do what is necessary to bring it about. In the book of Joshua.
The loving Adult learns to take loving action in our own behalf based on the truth that is accessed from Spirit, and the more we take loving action for ourselves and with others, the more we heal the false beliefs that are limiting ourselves and causing our pain.
While the wounded self always operates from an intent to control getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe, the loving Adult operates from an intent to learn about what loving to ourselves and others. It is this shift in intent - from controlling to learning about love - that begins the healing process. There is no deep, long-term healing as long as our intent is to control.
The more you learn to love yourself and share your love with others, the more you heal. The secret of emotional healing and emotional freedom is to develop your spiritually connected loving Adult, as there is no true healing without a spiritual connection. Any therapy that does not include the development of a spiritual connected loving Adult will not lead to long-term emotional freedom.
How do we create the loving Adult? By practicing opening to learning with a source of spiritual Guidance - whatever that is for you,following 3 things should be kept in mind. If you have no spiritual belief system or you are an atheist, no problem. Just imagine an older wise part of yourself. If you practicing asking this older wiser part of yourself questions about truth and loving action, you will be amazed at the answers you get. And as you take the loving action you are instructed to take, you will gradually heal the false beliefs that are causing much of your pain.
What does it mean to emotionally heal? It means that you know what you are thinking or doing that causes fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, anger, jealousy, and so on, and how to learn from and heal these painful feelings. It means that you no longer turn to addictions to avoid loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow or grief because you know how to manage and release these painful feelings. It means that you do not feel like a victim of others' choices and instead operate from a place of personal power, taking loving care of yourself rather than being reactive. It means that you are able to manifest the gifts you have been given and spend your time in what brings you joy. It means that you know how to fill yourself with love and share love with others rather than trying to get love and approval from others.
HOW DOES HEALING OCCUR?
Some therapies, such as CBT - Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy - bring about changes that can be a huge help to people suffering from depression. But what about anger, heartbreak,I ran out of stamps, and relationship problems?
One of the problems with some forms of psychotherapy is that our programmed mind cannot heal our programmed mind. Much of our pain comes from the false beliefs that have been programmed into a part of our left-brain called the amygdala - which is the seat of the ego, the wounded self,3161 Ugg Classic Short Sparkles Silver Boots. All of us absorbed many false beliefs as we were growing up that now limit us and can cause us much pain.
As long as we operate from our ego wounded self, we are stuck operating from these false beliefs, as the wounded self cannot heal the wounded self. So how do we heal the false beliefs of the wounded self?
Healing occurs when we develop a part of ourselves - what we call in Inner Bonding® the loving Adult - that is able to access a source of truth. Our ego wounded self has no ability to access truth. The loving Adult is a part of us that opens to learning with a spiritual source of love and truth, and learns to bring the truth through the mind - rather than the thoughts that come from the mind - which is what starts to heal the false beliefs,you can do what is necessary to bring it about. In the book of Joshua.
The loving Adult learns to take loving action in our own behalf based on the truth that is accessed from Spirit, and the more we take loving action for ourselves and with others, the more we heal the false beliefs that are limiting ourselves and causing our pain.
While the wounded self always operates from an intent to control getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe, the loving Adult operates from an intent to learn about what loving to ourselves and others. It is this shift in intent - from controlling to learning about love - that begins the healing process. There is no deep, long-term healing as long as our intent is to control.
The more you learn to love yourself and share your love with others, the more you heal. The secret of emotional healing and emotional freedom is to develop your spiritually connected loving Adult, as there is no true healing without a spiritual connection. Any therapy that does not include the development of a spiritual connected loving Adult will not lead to long-term emotional freedom.
How do we create the loving Adult? By practicing opening to learning with a source of spiritual Guidance - whatever that is for you,following 3 things should be kept in mind. If you have no spiritual belief system or you are an atheist, no problem. Just imagine an older wise part of yourself. If you practicing asking this older wiser part of yourself questions about truth and loving action, you will be amazed at the answers you get. And as you take the loving action you are instructed to take, you will gradually heal the false beliefs that are causing much of your pain.
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